The secret of life? It's in the sauce!

I'm in the home stretch...only two weeks till lil' Rhody.

Not a whole lot has gone on in the last few weeks. I'm still working a ton and my kids are still crazy. At school some of the classes are preparing for the Christmas pageant and its a disaster. I spent all of last week teaching the 6 first grade classes how to make reindeer with their hands and feet. By the end of the week I was convinced there was no hope for the future of humanity. On a positive note I haven't seen anymore fallen teeth, although none of my students seem to have front teeth anymore. "All I want for Christmas are my two front teeth, my two front teeth..."

My friends from school and I have started playing poker recently, Texas Hold'em to be exact. On Friday I had everyone over my place to play and it was wicked fun. Nothing better than drinks and poker, and the fact that I was dominating didn't hurt.

On Sunday Steve and I went off in search of a Christmas gift for his wife. After four hours or so of walking through the crowded city we were not successful. However, we did have an interesting culinary day: For breakfast we enjoyed a Napolitana, which is basically heaven in your mouth...a flaky, buttery, chocolate crossaint, and for lunch we braved caracoles. Caracoles are snails. Not the French escargot that everyone always thinks of, these are snails in their shells soaking in a spicy oil sauce. While I probably wouldn't have them again because the sauce was too spicy for me, I did enjoy the atmosphere of the bar. It's a famous place at the top of the Rastro that is known for the snails. The old man behind the bar is that notorious old as dirt, never-going-to-retire, possible Francista, loving life gentlemen that rules the place. I would love to listen to him talk about life and the Franco era.

This whole weekend was supposed to be a puente. Today, Tuesday, is a holiday so I don't have to work in Rivas until Wednesday. However, I was supposed to work yesterday at Mosaic. Out of my 9 students on Mondays, not a single one called to tell me they weren't coming to class. Instead I waited from 630 (for my first class) until 830 (my second class starts at 8 but I have to wait a half hour to make sure no one comes) at the academy with not a single one walking through the door. This could have been a pefrect four day weekend to travel somewhere in Spain but instead I had to stay just in case one of my students showed up. Pretty much bullshit if you ask me.

Oh and as promised: A five-hundred euro bill...

Negative: 3,430 miles.

Positive: Lights are up in the city again!

Estoy en mi salsa

I thought that last year I had seen everything at my school, I didn't think there was anything left that could gross me out, shock me, or disturb me. I was completely wrong. This year I have had no less then 6 kids lose a tooth while under my supervision. How do I know they lost their tooth? It all starts the same way: I feel a slight tug on my clothing, followed by the ever irritating " MEL-a-KNEEEEEEEEEE", as I quickly turn to assist the young child I think is in tremendous distress with my ever calming "What?", my open palm is met with a saliva and blood mixture of freshly fallen tooth. I proceed accordingly (hiding my utter disgust) and suggest the kid run to the bathroom to clean up, while craftily constructing a tiny paper envelope with said tooth. We wouldn't want the Tooth Fairly (or in Spain: the little mouse Perez) So much excitement in the first month a half, roughly a tooth a week.

Right, as I said earlier I was saving my opinions about one of the new girls because it was too early to judge. Well, now its later and my original opinion stands firm: she sucks. I can't even express how much disdain I have for this Scottish girl. She is rude, obnoxious, and just plain terrible at life. After it was brought to my attention that my 'tone' when addressing her was a little harsh (it's like Keith and Monique came to Spain with me) I chilled out a bit. While I didn't go out of my way to talk to her, I was still more pleasant when in her company. Then she got worse; not talking to anyone else, putting her headphones on when we were all together, and of course, my favorite, doing absolutely nothing for the Halloween play except screw up the one task she was given. Yeah...I was done. What's worse is other teachers are saying things to me about her wondering what her story is. Everyone notices that she is making absolutely no effort to get to know anyone, and what's worse is that she doesn't make an effort in class. On Thursday we had a nice little altercation (clearly I was the victor) and I think she realizes where I stand. Of course I know this doesn't mean she's going to change (nor would I have expected it to) but I hope she realizes that I have four years of girl-fight bitchiness saved up from high school since I never used it back then! I kid...but seriously.

On a positive note my Spanish is getting better at a steady rate. I've always had troubling learning a language. I'm not sure if it was because, believe it or not, I was always too shy in class to talk or if because my mind just doesn't grasp languages, or something else entirely, but I just could never seem to learn Spanish. When I first arrived in Madrid last year I was beyond nervous, I was always afraid to speak because I thought I'd be wrong. Even at school with the teachers I had a difficult time speaking Spanish and feeling comfortable. As the year progressed I started to recognize the things I was learning, I started noticing that I was understanding people better and taking directions well. When friends and family came to visit the role of translator obviously fell to me and it felt good. I know I didn't get everything correct, but I was understood and able to get everything we needed. Big confidence boost. I was nervous about going home for a month and not using my Spanish this summer, but something great happened. I realized that I was still thinking in Spanish and practicing how I would report back to my Spanish friends the things that had happened to me. For most of the summer when I returned to Madrid I was on my own. All that time forced me to be self sufficient and proactive with the upcoming year. Now, for the first time in my life, I feel confident in my Spanish speaking ability. While I would never say that I'm even close to fluent, I can easily say that I can take care of myself. Things are starting to fall into place and I'm able to grasp concepts that have alluded me for some time now. I'm excited to learn new words and phrases and, to the dismay of my friends, I practice using them...a lot. One more year here and I'll be set!

My classes outside of school have been pretty great. As I mentioned before I have a private class twice a week with 7 and 10 year old brothers. They are so funny and fun to work with. I spend a half an hour with each but it always flies by. They have a 3 year old brother who is also learning English at his school and loves to come in and show me what he's learned. As of now he's learned "no", "green", and "blue", but I'm sure he'll surprise me with something new this week. At the academy my adult classes are also going well. My private classes with Nayda are a breeze because we just talk about life, since I've been having classes with her since last Fall. The lower level of my group classes is decent, not has funny as the other but they try hard. Recently I taught them "hickey" because one of them came in with a giant one on their neck, he wasn't phased at all. The other group classes always has me laughing. There are five of them and we all get along so well. There's a perfect dynamic in the room and activities go over well. Three of the girls are still in highschool so we always have a good laugh over how ridiculous their days are with exams and highschool drama. This is by far my favorite class of adults I've ever had. I hope the class stays the same into next year.

On Sunday I went to the annual Botillo lunch/dinner with friends from work. Last year it was held at Juanma's house but this year there were too many people so we had it at Gabriel's parents' house. Gorgeous house with a terrace and patio to congregate on, and believe it or not in the middle of November we were able to have dinner outside and stay out until 6pm. This year four more teachers from school came as well as some friends of Gabriel's wife. In total we were fifteen and it couldn't have been more perfect. Once again I did not eat the food because it was meat and because it looks like one of the most revolting things ever...but I heard it was good. The company was good, the conversations were lively, and the wine flowed. Perfect end to the weekend. (ps I know my bangs are messed up in the picture and a ton of people are missing.)

Negative: Not being able to stay overnight at the farm with the teachers.

Positive: Seeing Conchi and Esteban after such a long time.

Hacchppy Hacchlloween!

I'd first like to start with a warning. This blog post is in no way funny or clever and I apologize for that.

School has been pretty normal. I'm definitely liking my new schedule of having Mondays off. Mondays are the worst days for both the kids and the teachers and now I get to avoid it. Secondly, we always go out for lunch on Friday and its fun! I met up with Raul one day since I hadn't seen him since June. I can't even explain how exciting it was. We went out for lunch and it brought back a lot of memories. I of course filled him in on how different everything in the English room was this year and begged him to come back and save me. He's still waiting to be placed in a school so there is still hope.

At Halloween time the school asks the assistants to perform a scary play, last year we did ¨Hansel and Gretel go Trick or Treating¨, this year we decided to put a Halloween spin on Rapunzel. Basically, for the last two weeks we haven´t had classes because we´ve been preparing for the show. We made a tower, a cardboard horse for the prince, pumpkins for the background, and various little odds and ends that involved a lot of painting.
On the next free day we did the script and costumes, and rehearsed a million times. Steve played the ever so charming prince, Fiona played Rapunzel, Sarah the witch, and I played the narrator...you´d be surprised how much I hate standing in front of people and talking. We performed six shows on Thursday and six on Friday and they all went rather smoothly. The biggest problem was when certain actors ad lib-ed and I lost my concentration, most of the play was to our benefit. The children only understood about 15% of what we said so we added popular lines from famous movies to make it better for us, and some of the teachers. At the end the children had to hold out their hands and say ¨Trick or Treat¨and we gave them candies. Here children, have some more sugar because you´re not hyper enough!

As far as having the "crazy life of a twenty something" I've been taking it easy. I've met up with some of the teachers on Thursday night for drinks a few times. It always ends up with us out till the early morning and we all come into work with sunglasses and a look of agony on Friday. Serves us right, I know. I have managed to meet some new and interesting people who will hopefully be a new source of entertainment for me.

Today I started my personal weekend. In the morning I got up, went to the gym, and then took a nice long walk in Retiro Park. As everyone knows I love the Fall so I finally got to see all the leaves changing color and take some pictures. I sat for awhile reading the new Dan Brown book, which I find extremely interesting because it takes place in D.C., and then returned home for lunch. I needed this weekend to detox and mellow out from the stressful couple of days I´ve been having. As is tradition I watched ¨Hocus Pocus¨ and continued the relaxation. I should definitely take weekends like this more often!

About the title: Say it out loud like you have gross stuff in your throat and that is how everyone Spanish person pronounces 'Happy Halloween!"

Negative: I never see my Portero.

Positive: I GOT PAID FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOUR MONTHS!!

Bunny returns to HCA

Well its that time of year again...school has finally begun for me. The first week is over and done and I had to take the first weekend to rest. After vegging out the entire summer my body and mind were not prepared to jump back into the 14 hour work days.

I started school on the 1st which was a Thursday. I woke up at 5 in the morning to a charming recording my neighbor has telling me that there is no electricity to keep her food cold in the fridge. I then proceed to look at my computer and discover that my apartment is also without electricity. What a fantastic way to start the first day of school! The commute was the same, everything seemed routine as if I hadn't just taken three months off. Same bus driver, same crazy commuters, and same feeling as I entered Rivas. Upon entering the school Steve and I were greeted by the principal who was just so ecstatic that we were back. Basically all the greetings were the same, "how was you summer, family, country?", and were we excited to be back. The school has changed a bit as far as classroom placement because there are more 1st grade classes. It took a little bit to adjust to where all my classes are but after one week I'm proud to say that my schedule is almost memorized.

This year I only have 1st and 2nd grade, and I only teach English. It was quite a shock seeing my schedule because I had such a mix of classes last year. This year its all English all the time, no Science and no gym classes. I know I'm going to miss the gym classes the most because of the teachers and because of the pure chaos. The other interesting thing about my schedule this year is that I have Mondays off instead of Fridays. Either way I get a three day weekend but all my friends at different schools have Friday off so partying is difficult. The great thing is that on Fridays all the teachers plan fun activities because the childrens' attention span is shot. This Friday coming up I will be making clown puppets.

There are a ton of new teachers and most of them are young and wicked nice. The lunch room dynamic is still the same, we're all loud and you can never get a word in edgewise. The food is exactly the same; a huge spread at recreo and three plates at lunch.

My students haven't changed one bit. I still get the same questions, they're just a year older. However, I do have one 2nd grade class believing that Cristiano Ronaldo is my boyfriend. Not too shabby.
I have 6 first grade classes and since I was only with them for a half hour a week for a few weeks last year I need to learn over 150 names. Oh joy! Right now our school has come down with flu (only three of them are Swine flu cases) and many kids are missing from class. All classes now have antibacterial gel and boxes of tissues on all the desks. The kids were finally taught to cough into their elbows so there have definitely been improvements. I am currently taking bets as to how long until I come down with the flu...my estimation: the 1st week of November.

The most significant difference at school is the English room. Lisa, Raul and Juanma are not there and quite frankly is sucks. The room is way too quiet and I'm bored. We have two new auxiliars, one is from Wisconsin and the other is from Scotland. I've been told its too early to judge them but let it be known I'm giving it another week and then I'm dishing!

My private classes also began this week and it is hectic. I have a private class Monday and Wednesday from 6:30-8 with Nayda. She was in my classes last year and she's fantastic. She was supposed to get married this summer but its been rescheduled to January for technical reasons. From 8-9:30 I have a pre-intermediate level class of seven. They're all still very shy but I warned them that I'm quite good at getting people to talk about crazy things in their lives. Their ages range from 19 to 45, and one of the students was from that awful class from last Fall. He actually requested me so we'll see how that works out. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I give a private lesson to a family two stops away from the academy. A half hour with a seven year old boy and then a half hour with his ten year old brother. The family is great and the kids are wicked smart. When I leave them I have to run to the academy to make my 8-9:30 intermediate level class. There are seven in this class as well and they're mostly normal. Most of them are students now and have a decent level. Overall, I'm working 17 hours at HCA, 9 hours at the academy, and 2 hours with private classes per week. Can you say "Hello Egypt" come Spring break!

Up at 7, out the door at 7:45, at school by 9, leave at 4:30, work till 9:30, home at 10...what a life. This year is definitely all about the money. Every trip, every weekend, and every Sushi dinner is going to be so worth it!

About the title: One of the five year olds that I had in Infantil last year saw me in the hall and told me (translated) "What's your name again? I remembering it being something similar to Bunny." Precious little pains!

Negative: New dress code at the academy says no sneakers.

Positive: Running into my futbol coach student, Carlos...swoon.

El fin de curso

Well, let's be honest, this post is very long overdue. I would like to state some wicked important excuse as the reason but in reality: I got busy. Now, I'm going to attempt to finish up the school year giving you just as much gory detail that you have come to expect and love.
As the school year winds down everyone starts running around like chicken with their heads cut off. The 2nd grade teachers are all too consumed by the Trinity exam, Infantil teachers are putting together graduation events for the 5 year olds, and everyone else seems to be months behind on regular coursework. While I am deeply concerned for their well-being, none of this really plays into my schedule and I continue to read the paper every morning and finish my Sudoku all before lunch.
The Trinity exam took place over two days and was awful. The children have to sit in a room with a creepy British man and speak in English about anything we covered in the course of the year. Obviously I'm biased, but the man was terrible and I'm proud of the kids for their effort.In mid-May there is the festival of San Isidro...the Patron Saint of Madrid. For this event the kids (and teachers) dress in traditional Madrileno attire. They open the blacktop to music, food, and games; Everyone celebrates, dances around, and has a good time.
Ridiculousness:
At lunch one day while all kids were on the patio and the teachers were eating the loudspeaker came on playing the Barcelona Futbol Club's chant/song. It was after a pretty important game, one in which had very few Barcelona supporters and more Madrid supporters at my school, and the school went nuts. The kids started banging on the windows and the teachers stood up in outcry. Only in Spain.
Swine flu has hit Spain like a ton of bricks. Its all over the newspapers and there are signs up everywhere teaching people how to be germaphobic. However, since the Spanish eat a lot of pig products, and by that I mean ham, the official name has been changed from "Gripe Porcina" (Swine flu) to "Gripe A". I'm pretty sure they did this so people wouldn't get scared.
A certain teacher that I work with (unless I can avoid it) managed to substitue my everyday class with me. After hearing specific instructions to let me run class seeing as it is my class, we were learning about the environment, and I FREAKING SPEAK ENGLISH!!, this teacher took it upon herself to disrupt my class. She got it to the point that not only were the students not listening to her, but they weren't listening to me either. I walked out. (ok, that sounds more hardcore then it was...really I just waited till it was time to go to recess and I split. But the intent was there!)
I, Melanie D. Lawton, taught Math class, and I rocked it! (Granted it was a second grade level, but still...) One of the substitutes didn't show and I was free so they asked me to just sit in while the class did homework. One kid started crying because he didn't get it and I went over to help. After that all the kids wanted my help so I just stood in the front of the class speaking Spanish about Math problems.
Finally, the heat. Enough said.

School's End:
As for the official end of school it was pretty anti-climactic. Worked on a mural for the sixth graders' play, went to a few parties in classrooms, and played basketball on the blacktop with the students. The kids were so dramatic as if they were never going to see each other again. Uhhhh...you live in Rivas, what else are you going to do?
Saying bye to the teachers for the summer was an event. It was Lisa's last year at the school and she was an emotional wreck (and I'm being nice). All the teachers looked at me and said this is how I'll be next year...clearly they haven't figured me out yet.

But for now I say goodbye to the desert that is Rivas and to the craziness that is Hans Christian Andersen. See ya in October!

Negative: Neighbors who have alarm clocks that don't shut off for hours.

Positive: Mystery Theatre at lunch break.

Call on meee, Call on meeeeeeeee

What did I do today? I sat inside a blowup globe and learned about the water cycle in Spanish. My school has started this movement towards educating the kids on water and for the six year olds this was their experience. I crawled into this globe with 25 six year olds and watched as a little drop of water named Ana told us about her life. Good to know that my Spanish is at least at a 1st grade comprehension level.

School has been pretty normal for the third trimester. I'm sure if we had rafters at school the kids would be hanging from them. I did have a little issue with one of my favorites in the third grade writing a pretty graphic note for his age. I promise you I did not know the words nor expressions that he used when I was eight. Kids these days...

Steve brought his wife Susannah to school on Wednesday to everyone's delight. She had been asking to see the school before she left for the States so this was the perfect opportunity, and we hoped it would squash the Melanie and Steve rumors from the kids. The little girl who has been on our case from the beginning apparently just put her head down in defeat when she met Susannah, something I eagerly would have paid money to see. I thought this would be the end of it but as always I was mistaken. I passed these kids in the hall and heard ¨Has visto Susannaaaaaaahhh?!?¨ (Have you seen Susannah?!?). These kids were trying to taunt me as if I didn't already know he was married. I would tell them to get lives but they are only six and that would be mean.

One of our teachers has been sick for over a week now and her students haven´t had English in that amount of time so I needed to cover the 6th grade. We only have two classes of 6th but since they didn't start in the bilingual program I don´t have any interaction with them. When I walked in they were a little nervous because they had only seen me pass in the hall. I'm not sure why they were nervous because when they all stood up they towered over me. (Great feat its not but impressive nonetheless). We did some work from their books and played a few games to get them comfortable. At the end they interviewed me and it was hysterical. My favorite was telling them I didn't eat meat because as I've said before its not a concept they grasp. By the end of class they were feeling more sure of themselves, I was definitely impressed by their persistence.
As for the weekend there was a going away/birthday party for Susannah. Eclectic group of people that got together for some drinks and tapas. I finally got to see Steve´s place and the area that he raves about so much. To be honest the first thing I said when walking into the flat was, "So you guys live in Central Falls?" which of course was met with blanks stares. Too bad. At night the area is filled with activity so we hit up a few bars as well. By 3am it winded down to just Lisa and her amazing sister Renee, Juanma, Isabel (Steve´s old roommate), and Steve and Susannah. Great night.









Negative: yeaahhhh... so lice season has begun.

Positive: "Call on me" replacing "Lady in Red"

The hardest challenge

After a little over a week off it is back to work with the wonderful kiddos (as I've now been addressing them) of HCA. As to be expected the children wanted to tell me everything they could about their vacations. Most of them went to their pueblos to visit grandparents and a significant amount of lucky ones hit the beaches. For my six year olds they had to draw something great that happened over break. Most drew their families eating, others drew the beach, and two special little ones drew themselves going to McDonalds. I tell you, kids these days...

I do have to point out that I learned something extremely important this week: I have actually found the most difficult thing that has been asked of me to do. At first I thought it was going to be the language barrier but I´ve overcome that and actually learned a great deal from the kids. Then I thought it was controlling the chaos in the classrooms but I've come to terms with that and developed my own techniques. Most recently I thought it was going to be teaching the 5 year olds but I´m now a celebrity and they applaud my arrival. I can officially say that the MOST difficult thing that has been asked of me is teaching Baseball to Spanish children. On Wednesday during class with the third graders Elena asked me if I wanted to teach them a new game. Since they had already been asking me for a new game I agreed wholeheartedly without checking the game first. I should have learned my lesson the first time when she pulled this on me to teach Dodgeball! Now if some of you might know I played softball from when I was nine until fourteen, coached a little girls' team for six years, and have been known to catch a Red Sox game or two...all making me what Elena would call "una profesional". NONE of this makes me capable of teaching eight year old Spanish children! None. The one factor that many people might forget is that Baseball doesn't exist here. The only contact children have with this sport is if a score is reported for the playoffs in the states. For the most part, children in the US have at least walked by a television while a game was on and saw the general set up. Kids here do not have that advantage. It is the equivalent of trying to teach American children cricket...in a foreign language. With all this said I still set out on the task to inform their little minds. After many "Melanie, I no understand" on their part and a lot of acting out plays on my part, we began. Order of problems that needed correcting:

1. To not stand on home plate facing the pitcher.
2. To not carry the bat to first when you hit the ball.
3. To not have the runner on first go get the batter and bring her to first with him.
4. To not throw the ball back to only the pitcher and expect an out.
5. To not touch the base with the ball.

My parting words to this class? Go home and research the game in Spanish! Come Thursday Elena thought it would be hysterical to explain to everyone at lunch my performance the day before. Basically she made me look like a crazy person running around the gym screaming at children. Awesome. I did teach another third grade class the game that afternoon and it went much better. More understanding all around and the game went faster. I could, however, have done without their brawling at the end...I guess Baseball will always be Baseball no matter where I am!

Negative: [hint] I never get any mail...

Positive: I have new piercing!! (which my children adore, I am so popular!)

Seriously? How is this my life?

I don't think I can even express how ridiculous my life is nowadays. Sometimes I look back on these posts and realize that I often lead a crazy life. Whether it is something my children do at school or something the Spaniards do in life, I am always amazed. I've debated for a few days how to retell the story of my Tuesday. I thought maybe I'd post a tiny bit of the subject and tell readers to email me if they wanted details. I also thought about censoring the story a little bit based on the demographic. And then it hit me, I haven't really censored much else in this blog (which is evident) and I wouldn't be keeping true to myself if I didn't put in the whole story. So without further adieu here goes nothing:
[This post is dedicated to my grandma and my aunt Lydia]

Tuesday:
On Mondays and Tuesdays I read to the Infantil kids in the morning for a half an hour each per class. Only three classes in total so the 30 minutes doesn't seem to take too long. They pretty much love anything you do and every week its like Christmas becasue you're are there. Great self-esteem boost on crappy mornings. So I head off to the second 5 year old class with my Old McDonald book ready to enlighten these little minds (haha). As I'm reviewing their names and ages one little boy, I'll call him 'H', says something to me that I missed. So I asked him to repeat what he was saying and it went something like this (clearly I'm translating): "Teacher, you have huge boobs." ...and he used his arms to demonstrate just how big. I glance at the permanent teacher and she has her head down looking at papers. (Later she told me that she was so embarrassed and was hoping I didn't understand).
Well that 30 minutes dragged on after I told 'H' he couldn't say that, but he didn't understand me. I returned to the English room and told my counterparts...they found it hysterical. Story's over right? Wrong!

After Recreo I went to my 1st grade class to teach them about their families. Earlier in the week I had given them a great laugh talking about my family. First, they couldn't understand how my parents could possibly have names like Monqiue and Keith, it just blew their minds. Second, having not one but two grandfathers whose names began with 'W' is a hard concept to grasp. The 'W' is not a popular letter in the Spanish language and for names it is unheard of, except in my case. But I will say that in the end I won out when I had to choose one uncle to tell them about. Although I have many great uncles to choose from I had to go with my uncle Mickey, for obvious reasons. I was greeted with cheers and hysterics becuase of...MICKEY MOUSE!!! While the rest of my family might not have a high approval rating from my 6 year olds, my uncle Mickey has won them over.
Anyways, back to the story. At the end of this class they were instructed to draw themselves and talk about their features. To get them started I decided to draw a picture of myself on the board (I'm becoming a great chalk artist). I was explaining to them to draw their hair color and eye color, and I even gave myself earrings. While I'm finishing the last touches on my full length drawing I hear one girl, we'll call her 'P', tell me she has a question. "Melanie, Where are your boobs? You have big boobs, why didn't you draw them too? You have to have your boobs!" So the teacher tells her she's rude and that she can't say that to me and I just laugh. I explain to the teacher what happened in the morning and said that I'm giving up.
Back to the English room to hear more laughing and then a discussion about why this was happening today. What was different about today? Was it my clothing? For the record, I was wearing a white teeshirt and a button up sweater! Story ends here? Obviously not!

After lunch I went to gym class with my 2nd graders and Elena. She informs me that the class is free time for them because it's right before the break and neither of us had anything planned. So we're sitting in the circle while the kids are fooling around and I tell her about the events of my day.
We're having a good laugh when out of no where four or five of the students put their knees inside their teeshirts giving them the appearance of boobs and start saying "I'm Melanie, I'm Melanie!" and hobbling around the group. I officially lost it. I was literally on the floor in hysterics, Elena as well, because we could not believe what we were seeing.
This Tuesday was by far the most ridiculous day of my life and it was at the hands of small children. At first I started to think how ridiculous it was that these children have no filter. Then as the day progressed I gave up analyzing any of it and just went with the flow. Although, I have to admit, if they're just noticing now then maybe we have bigger problems on our hands to deal with...

Also, telling the story in English is bad enough, but when you have to say it in Spanish it gets that much more embarrassing. Fantastic! I brought one of my coworkers to tears he was laughing so hard.

The rest of the week continued in this crazy way and now I'm on Easter break, (or Semana Santa). I leave on Monday for someplace great but you'll have to wait till I get back to know where exactly it is...

Negative: March Madness is almost over and I might lose in my pool to a Spaniard.

Positive: Learning that 'grillos' are always black.

No me toques, no soy una guitarra!

This week may have been one of the most interesting in awhile. I don't know if its the weather or the beer at lunch or my comfort level here, but something is definitely happening around me. I swear I spent this whole week laughing and having a fun time while working. Even my night classes have been filled with laughter. The other day we did a segment on their thoughts of the US and we were all crying at the end of class. We were laughing so hard at each other and the crazy things that they came up with that no one could hold back the hysterics. I'm so glad that this semester's adult classes are so much better. I really enjoy my students and I can tell they really enjoy coming to class.

Monday and Tuesday at HCA were normal as far as classes went. The students are the same more or less. They talk a lot and do really frustrating things, but I enjoy them still. The English room on the other hand gets crazy and crazy. I think we have too much fun in there, and I know for a fact that the other teachers wonder just what goes on. I am proud to say that the room is now adorned with a hand painted American flag (picture to come soon). Thirteen stripes and fifty stars now cover the British cross because lets be honest, no one in the room is from there!

Wednesday was a little different though, there was a strike. I went to school on Wednesday with the intention of leaving before lunch because there were supposed to be few teachers and students. However, that was not the case, I put in a full day of nothing. The strike was for public school teachers against something to do with private schools. As you can see I didn't really pay attention because it doesn't have anything to do with me. Only about six teachers were at school out of about 40, and only about 200 children out of 753. They watched a movie, played on the playground, ate lunch, finished the movie, and went back to the playground. I read all the children's books we have in the room, wandered, went out for drinks at lunch, shot around on the playground, and played basketball with the kids. Super productive. I should have been more prepared with Spanish work or a book, but in the end I say it all worked out: I finally got to play basketball! I went out with the intentions of playing alone but when the little ones came out I had no choice, sadly. Apparently over the many years of not playing I've gotten a good shot going for myself and the kids were impressed. They all wanted me on their team (for the record I wasn't the only adult, just the best one) and were mad when I didn't shoot. I did the responsible thing and passed everytime. In the end I was given an ultimatum by Pablo to shoot and make us win or he wasn't going to listen to me in class anymore. Wonderful.
On a sidenote I've really been enjoying going out for drinks at lunch. Usually we find a place that has outdoor seating and we sit in the sun drinking cañas. It's a perfect break in the middle of the day and we might as well take advantage of the two hours!

Thursday started off on a fantastic note as always. My Thursdays begin with the lovely little children of 2A and their constant need to touch me. I am usually prepared for it and know who to avoid and so on. However, we have a new substitute gym teacher for a month named Alfonso and I was distracted. As we're standing there talking one little darling decides that this is the perfect moment to LIFT MY SKIRT! I wish I was joking, I wish I could tell you that she only lifted it half way, I wish I could say that no one was looking...but I can't. So we had a nice little chat and he flipped out on her and life continued. Well, until he told everyone at lunch... Alfonso and I spent most of the class talking about how the kids have a weird attraction to touching me. Even as class continued they would hang on my legs, try to jump on my back, poke me, or, my personal favorite, touch my face. I think they're like cats in the way that they can sense who doesn't like it. I don't like to be touched therefore the children must touch me. It's how life works I guess. Lesson for next week? Don't wear a skirt around this class, ever.
Translation of the title (literal): Don't touch me, I'm not a guitar. However, in Spanish the verb tocar also means "to play an instrument" so its a cute little word play that I was taught after this delightful day. It applies.


On a sidenote, I successfully got my hair cut today. This may seem simple to everyone reading this but in fact there is more to the story. With the exception of the unfortunante bangs incident of '06 and last week when Juanma cut my hair, I have had the same hairdresser my entire life. For 23 years my aunt has been cutting my hair and today that all changed. I guess secretly I always just assumed she would fly out here...

Negative: Not having a clue what I'm doing for Semana Santa.

Positive: My portero invited me for coffee!

The Sardine is dead

This week may have been one of the longest yet to date. Besides the fact that I ended up working all five days in Rivas, it took me forever to recover from Cadiz. I even subjected myself to the endless comments about my glasses after deciding to wear them three days in a row. That's how tired I was.

I haven't mentioned my night classes so I figured now was as good a time as ever. I've cut down my classes to just three days a week. I have a group class Tuesday and Thursday, and then an individual class on Wednesday. My group class is made up of three people from last semester and two new ones. At first I was a little hesitant with a large group because many times the levels don't match up, but I love this class. We've actually been having some pretty awesome classes these past few weeks. I introduced them to an edited version of the "Never Have I Ever..." game. We were practicing the present perfect and past simple so it worked in quite well. They got a huge kick out of it and we spent a great deal of time laughing at each other from some of their crazy things. Most recently I started the 20 questions games with them and its caused some arguments. I told them can fight all they want as long as they do it in English! My individual class is with a fifty-something year old man who just had his first child at the beginning of the month. He hasn't been getting much sleep but still manages to come to class all energized. We are supposed to do grammatical stuff but he just loves to talk. Usually I get him started on one topic and we spend the rest of the class just talking about it. Recently, I learned that he's nervous that his son his going to turn out like him as a child because he was a little trouble maker. Him and his twin were known throughout their village for causing trouble. His stories are great and its nice to get paid to just sit, listen, and laugh at great tales. I'm really enjoying this semester at Mosaic a lot more because I actually like my students and I'm not as overworked.

Now, about my dear little school in the vast desert land of Rivas. On the way into school on Wednesday one of the teachers asked us if we were sad. She said some other words as well but since her English is terrible Steve and I decided to ignore her. (This sounds harsh but we have some issues with her, not to mention the next day she tried to correct our pronunciation on 'Hasta Luego' which is another story within itself) Anyways, upon entering school we noticed that most of the children were wearing black. I fortunately hadn't done laundry in about 3 weeks so I was wearing nice dress pants and a black sweater, so I fit right in. Upon investigation we learned that the giant paper sardine in the front lobby that the children had decorated would be burned right after lunch. So many things go through your head when you're told that there would be sardine sacrifice to symbolize the end of Carnaval. Where am? Who possibly came up with this idea? You're joking, right? But no, this was reality. This is my reality, I work at a school that has bonfires after lunch.
I'm veering, as promised we were led out to the sandpit playground on the side of the patio along with all 752 children. Everyone waited patiently until we heard it, the sound of the drums. The crowd looks in the direction of the main doors as 8 sixth graders carry the doomed sardine out on handles. Following them are four of our teachers playing the death march by saxophones and drums. If you still remember who I am and how I react to ridiculousness like this, please applaud me for keeping my composure. I fought back laughter during the whole procession because I feel it would have been inappropriate. Just when I thought the seriousness from the musical number was going to do me in, the students put the sardine on the skewer to be burnt. Goyo, being ever so handy, lit the poor 15 foot paper fish and there it went. Flames devouring ever last part from head to tail. After about five minutes of bonfire glory the children chanted to extinguish the flames. So let's see, how can we keep this in true Spanish fashion? Oh yes, use an extinguisher that once sprayed is taken by the wind and blown in the face of all the six year olds sitting down wind. I had to hear for the next couple of days that my students were not fine, they were feeling quite sick because if I had seen correctly they were the ones whose faces filled with hazardous smoke. How dramatic. How Spanish. How I love my life.
(for the record, if you doubt any of my stories from Rivas I have many available references.)

Oh, and the other exciting activity for the day? If you remember a few weeks back I had to show my 6 years olds about Valentines day and all its glory. Well in class I like to color with them and made my own picture. On Wednesday I finally finished the picture during my free time before lunch and decided how fitting the picture really was for the English room. I proceeded to assign us all characters that fit our personalities in one way or another. The end result? The picture is now online and the original copy is laminated for all to see. Negative: Grocery shopping at Carrefour on a Saturday morning, it makes you hate people.

Positive: Going out for sushi with everybody at school on Friday.

Eres una WAR-EHH

Ok so let´s start this off with a warning: I am writing on a Spanish keyboard and the keys are different. I will be making mistakes and I will not catch them. This should not reflect upon my great typing skills so I don´t want to hear any complaints. Nor do I want to worry that you think I write horribly. That is all.

It has been quite awhile since I´ve posted but I have been extremely preoccupied. I will try to group this by what has happened and what has been asked of me.

Obama
Per request I have decided to write a little about the election and Spain´s views. Let me just say first that it was very upsetting for me to not be in Washington D.C. for the inauguration this year. I was there in 2005 when I started my freshman year for the other president´s and it would have been nice to be there for this one as well. I was definitely jealous of all my friends still living in the area and how they talked about the city for the last 5 months. I can´t say that being in Spain was a disappointment either. All of Europe took this election seriously and mostly everyday there was something in the newspaper about it. As mentioned in the past I still consider Spain to be racist and with the election of a black president there were numerous editorials about how this term would fail. Unfortunately, this probably happened everywhere. Once Spain got over the color of our new president´s skin they did what EVERYONE else is doing: put total faith in the fact that he MUST do something to help them. Spaniards look to Obama as a way to save them from the crisis. While I agree that when the economy in the US does well there will be a domino effect and all other economies will start to change, I do not agree that it is the US/Obama´s responsibility to fix them. Being abroad has made me realize just how much other countries think we will save them. Countries look to us to fix all their problems and, if we can´t, we are horrible and to blame for everything. Specifically for Spain, the election of Obama is a trial run for whether or not they will speak highly of the US. The younger generation is similar to ours, they are expecting a change and see this change in Obama. The older generation is a little more apprehensive because they lived under a dictator. Spain´s politics are still a little uneven and this can sometimes affect their judgment. When Obama was elected in November I was met at school by teachers and students alike with applauding and cheers. Everyone wanted to talk about it and how it made me feel. I believe on a whole most people are excited for this change. The other president was not well received in Spain because of a few ´disses´. The other administration never seemed to put any confidence in Spain or feel that they were a country that needed to be in on European affairs. Whether you agree with it or not, the Spaniards certainly do not and thus they wanted change. After the inauguration all newspapers had full page spreads of the event. They discussed the future and what Obama has the potential to do for them. As stated their most pressing issue is the economy/crisis (I swear, if I hear one more teacher say ¨Pero, hay un crisis...¨). I hope this answers some questions about the issue. I can say that the night of the inauguration there were celebrations in Madrid that made me feel a little closer to home.

Pueblos
The last two weekends I´ve taken roadtrips to little villages on the outskirts of Madrid. The first was to a village a half an hour past Rivas called Chinchon. Lisa, Johan, Juan and I just walked around seeing what there was to see and ate. The most important thing to do in a pueblo is to eat and drink. Usually, its incredibly cheap and delicious. It´s a nice change from the fast pace of being in Madrid because on the weekends everyone is relaxed and just enjoying themselves. The atmosphere isn´t hectic and people are generally nicer. Chinchon was beautiful because it overlooked a great landscape. The drive there was amazing because I haven´t been on a long drive in awhile and I was able to see the countryside. Along the way we passed many little villages that just looked so peaceful placed inside the hills.

On Valentine´s Day we went to two pueblos near to Toledo. The first pueblo, Torrijos, was our main destination because we needed costumes for CARNAVAL! Juan knew of a great little costume shop there so we drove down for the morning. A success, but more on that when I get back from Carnaval. After that we went to another pueblo called Fuensalida to eat. Immediately getting into the village you feel that you must eat because you´ll never find food so authentic. This village is known for its shoes so while we waited for all the stores to open back up (siesta time remember)we grabbed some cañas and played cards. I finally learned a Spanish card game called Cinquillo. Spanish cards are different than what we are used to so unless you have a deck its hard to explain the games.
I like these roadtrips because not only are the pueblos great but just driving through Spain is a great experience. I see a lot more of Madrid too as we drive through to get to the highways. Since I haven´t taken a roadtrip of the US, other than RI to DC, its nice to get one in every now and then.

Kids
They are still simple minded and hysterical. I recently taught them Dodgeball in physical education and they couldn´t be happier. I even got my 3rds to play Lisa´s 2nds and got to play a little myself. I really do enjoy these kids and when you throw in a game that I love, well life is just grand.
Big controversy to report was who I was going to give my Valentine to last week. I was trying to do an arts and crafts project with glorious little 1B in celebration of Saturday and no sooner did I start speaking did they get all anxious. The only thing they could concentrate on was knowing where my Valentine was going to end up. Oh how they crack me up, I told them it was for my friends in the English room.

Closing notes
I´m writing on a Spanish keyboard because I´m at school and most of my classes were canceled. The first and second graders are going on an overnight field trip to the farm from today until tomorrow and therefore I have nothing to do. I would have loved to have gone to the farm but I´m realistic and understand that spending a night with the children may have fried my brain.
I recognize in my writing that I sometimes translate things from Spanish. Don´t worry, I´m also doing this with my English speaking so its not that I´m an idiot, it´s just that I´m confusing the languages.
Por fin, the other day on the metro I was sitting next to two young school girls who were discussing the new Spanish-English translator one girl had. After explaining to her friend how she just types in a word and the English word pops up she says ¨Eres una WAR-EHH¨ or so it seemed to me. I couldn´t for the life of me figure out what English insult she was trying to use, then it hit me: You are a whore. I love Spanish children.

Negative: All things British: getting accosted by my students after Spain beat England in futbol, the decorations/flags in the English room, and being taken for British by the new teacher.

Positive: Getting to draw the water cycle (my favorite thing from Science) about 80 times on a white board for my students.

I told you not to say SUPPAH!!!

So Keith and Monique came across the ocean last week to visit me. Technically, they flew over to see me but really it was to get more countries under their belts...I'm kidding (kind of). So after trying unsuccessfully to meet them at their hotel before heading to my night class, missing them by only 7 minutes, I finally was able to see them later in the night. They look the same. They talk the same. And of course they act the same. It was definitely nice to be around home.

The next morning we did the Madrid Vision bus that allows you to hop on and hop off at the sights. Now this is one of my favorite things to do because I can see the city that I usually learn through walking. As expected it was fantastic; we traveled the historical path through the city and saw everything. I think the best part was seeing where all the cows were hidden. If I haven't already mentioned there are ceramic cows placed all over the city and it's my goal to get a picture of all 105. From the bus I got a better idea of where I needed to go. Eventually I got my mom in on the action and we dragged my dad to all the ones that we could find. However, with his sick sense of humor he found his favorite in no time at all. (See picture). So the bus took us to all the sights first because we decided to go through once before choosing where we wanted to get off.

The next day was Saturday so I took them on a tour of my neighborhood. I showed them my fresh market which is one of my favorite things here. The place is huge and offers an amazing selection of fresh fruit, vegetables, and fish. From there we went to Retiro Park because you have to when you visit the city. We walked through most of it just talking about the city and taking in the view. The weather was pretty decent so that makes walking around that much better. From Retiro we did the immediate area around my apartment where I successfully was able to lose my dad's sense of direction. Toma ya! From there we had lunch at a Doner Kebab place because I had talked so much about it the last time I was here. I'm happy to say they were satisfied with my decision. From here we walked to Manuel Bercera so I could show them where I picked up the bus and then from there to Ventas, the bullring. Unfortunately, the bullring has been taken over by the circus so there are trucks blocking most of the view. I guess it didn't matter because neither of them were too interested in seeing inside. After leaving my neighborhood we took a break at the hotel and then eventually went out for dinner.I had planned that on Sunday morning we would head to the Rastro which is an outdoor flea market type deal. However, it was raining miserably so we went to the Prado art museum instead. I'm going to preface this by saying that the Prado is world famous and some even believe it has one of the greatest art collections in the world. My family, myself included, are not art people. The museum is huge and a little difficult to navigate so after an hour or so of following the map I gave up and just took them to my favorites. A little before Spanish lunch time we left and were greeted by sunshine outside as we headed back to Sol.
While walking on the other side of the Prado I noticed a woman walking beside with a map. Now to many this is not unusual because Madrid gets many tourists and they clearly use maps. For me however I had a feeling. This whole trip my family and I have walked single file because my dad gets sidetracked in the back looking at everything and my mom walked in front or directly behind me to get out of peoples' way. So when I felt a presence beside me and knew it wasn't my mother I looked for her. As I look in front of this woman I notice her counterpart with her hand inside my mother's previously zipped purse taking her wallet. I caught her red handed. I pushed the map woman towards the wall and went for her friend. I started swearing, grabbed the hood to her jacket, and choked her backwards with all my force. I scared her, clearly, and she dropped the wallet. I picked it up and continued yelling at her to get lost. This was the point when my parents finally realized that something was going on, when they noticed the wallet was on the ground. There were three of them in total, all roma gypsies; one between my dad and I, one trying to block my view, and the other stealing. I can not describe the rage that built up inside of me as this was happening. I am pretty sure it's safe to say I have never been that mad, I was literally shaking. While this was happening on the small side walk there was another family in front of us. The daughter came over to me and started apologizing because she didn't want me to think the gypsies were Spanish . I explaind that I lived here and that I knew that this should not reflect the Spanish people. She felt so bad for us and they ended up walking with us the rest of the way.
In the end I guess I'm pretty badass.

(picture: my parents unsuccessfully trying to eat paella; notice their use of the ashtray)

On Monday I took them out to Rivas to see my school. What an event! Besides the excitement I created with my gypsy story everyone was ecstatic to meet them. My parents could barely talk to someone without someone else coming over to greet them. First I had them meet my American coworkers and then I took them to meet the higher ups. The principal was so thrilled and wanted me to show them everything. From there we went to Recreo and that's where the party started. All the teachers were there to greet them and find out how they liked their trip. Those that spoke English were eager to practice and I must say they did an excellent job. After Recreo I brought them around to some of my classes and had the children ask questions. The kids were a little surprised but they weren't that shy around them. In the end I think it was a great experience for everyone and I'm glad I could finally show them what I do everyday.
I wasn't lying about the 'out-of-control' part, was I?

At night my parents met my Mosaic bosses, seeing as they were also very involved in my time abroad here in university. The meeting went well, especially since my mom brought the infamous fudge. In summation of that experience Maricarmen was finally able to understand where I come from, it all makes perfect sense now!

My night class canceled so we met Juanma and Steve for dinner at a nice little place in Iglesia. We had a round of drinks first in typical Spanish style and then sat down for a little bit of everything. We sampled a lot of different things and it was a real taste of Spanish cuisine. The conversation was lively and great, except for the stories about me as a child...thank you parents! We spent the whole night laughing and eating, as it should be, and it was a perfect end to a great vacation. Perfection.

Oh! and for the record, non native English speakers understand it as dinner, not supper and especially not SUPPAH!

Negative: Not having a chance to meet up with my old señora, Maribel.

Positve: Great family and friends, simply fantastic.

Una cosa Melanie...

My return to school was in true Spanish style: I was only there for one Thursday then I was off again for the weekend. It was very exciting to see everyone again and of course I was met with many kisses and questions about my break. Those that knew of my three vacations in one were in awe of how I got everything done but happy for me. I was met with many questions about Huelva and how everything went of course. My school borders on the side of nosy/gossipy and I have become the main focus of this. Oh well, things could be worse...my kids could get in on the action (heavy foreshadowing here).
My first day back was a Thursday and my busiest day so I was able to see most of my students and listened to them go on about what the Three Kings brought them. Tuesday, January 6th was Three King's Day so everything was still fresh in their minds.
One thing I need to mention is that the next day, Friday, I woke up to about three inches of snow in Madrid center. Very exciting since I had only seen flurries a month before and I was starting to miss it. Well unfortunately Madrid is not known for its snow and they were in shock. People were walking the streets with umbrellas and just being generally scared. I found out that some teachers were too afraid to make it into work and because of this they turned children away at the door because there weren't enough adults. Of the teachers who did make it in, most left their cars in Rivas because the four inches of snow there was too much, too dangerous. I can not even describe to you the ridicule Lisa and I bestowed on these people when we came to school the following Monday. The teachers were still talking about it as if it had been the Blizzard of '78. Madrileños and snow equals ridiculous.

Seeing as how January is almost over I figured I'd summarize what has happened with my classes. {quotes from my children are translated from Spanish for story-telling purposes}

3A-They have moved on to a new unit in Science class that covers solids, liquids, and gases. Now clearly Mary, the head teacher, would demonstrate not feeling well and what sometimes happens when you don't. This was met with yells to know how to say "tirarse un pedo" in English. Mary just put a finger to her lips to let them know she wasn't telling. And I being the unsuspecting genius that I am said, "It's a secret." What happens next? Well my class went around saying "I'm SECRETING!!!" for the rest of the day!
My favorite little Alex is in Judo after school on Mondays and since we are already in the gym at the end of the day he changes after P.E. Unsuspectingly I walked in to the gym to check on him and was attacked. Atleast for the rest of this year I will still be able to hold his head and have him not be able to touch me, but next year who knows. When I finally stopped laughing and closed him off in the gym I thought I was at peace. Next thing I know while I'm talking to Elena he comes flying out the other door karating kicking in the air. It was slow motion just like in the movies and it seemed like he travelled from the door to me all 15 ft. in the air! I thought I was going to burst I was laughing so hard. Now during regular class on Monday he'll look at me from across the room and hold up his Judo bag and say, "Melanie, remember last Monday." Fact: my kids have it in for me.
Lesson from 3A: Not to put on chapstick during class or otherwise I will be subjected to "Ohh Melanie, who are you kissing?" and 25 giggles.

3B-They were actually pretty calm this week except that I swear most of them lost a tooth during one class or another. Lots of blood and class disruptions. Instead of the tooth fairy in Spain they have the magic mouse who brings them no less than 10 euros a tooth. I think we can all agree that we were gipped as children because I don't think I even got a dollar!
Lesson from 3B: They don't care about me ripping up their notes to each other, its the artwork that really makes them well up with tears.

3C-These little children are on my shit-list for real. Since Carmen was on maternaty leave like the three other pregnant teachers their schedule was messed up. I had to teach them a few times by myself and they were just terrible. The Spanish teacher that has to be there to supervise had no control over them and they took advantage of this. I really have nothing nice to say about them right now because they have been that horrible. Not just for me either, they have given every substitute a hard time and were even caught throwing paper out the windows. Maleducados! Finally, I had physical education taken away from them. Instead I practiced my Spanish while Elena spent 45 minutes straight yelling at them for being disrespectful to all the teachers and not taking advantage of opportunities in front of them and so on. Good times.
Lesson from 3C: Don't turn your back on them or they might pull a "Dangerous Minds" type action. (I'm kidding but I wouldn't put it past them.)

2A-My little darlings have been in full force since returning from vacation. A few of them have even taken to hanging on me and always asking to hold my hand during class, not normal for me. Well, my second class back one little clingy girl is holding my hand while I notice all the rest circling around me. My first reaction is that I'm a wounded gazelle on the Serengeti and they are hungry lions circling their prey so I get real nervous. Then I notice them pointing and laughing with each other and start to get really concerned. I'm having trouble understanding them because they're laughing so hard so I make the decision to wait until we get to the gym to figure it out. Well to my lovely surprise I have a rip in my pants in the butt. Fantastic! Thank goodness it's only first period and I haven't been walking around all day with my butt exposed. I take my zip-up and tie it around my waste to cover it until I can figure out something better. By now the whole class knows and it's the funniest thing they've all ever heard. Wonderful. When I left class I rushed around to ask anyone for a needle and thread (aguja and hilo), clearly I chose wisely who to ask because I knew I would have to explain. Finally, with no luck on fixing the problem, I settled on wearing Juanma's sweater all day because it was long enough to cover the hole. Probably an even bigger mistake. When I saw this class later in the day one girl asked if it was my father's sweater. Now if I was smart I would have answered 'yes' and that would have been the end of the discussion. Instead I told them no and that my father is too far away to give me his clothes. But that was OK because Laura says "NO, it's JUANMA'S. I saw him wearing it early today. I know it's his! Melanie why are you wearing his sweater...?" and so on. More giggles and I just walked away. Even yesterday they were still on my case about it because I was wearing another zip-up that isn't very girly. The same girls asked me flat out if it was Juanma's because they don't think I wear anything but his clothes anymore. I'll have to remember to get rid of my neutral colored clothes and to wear lots of pinks and purples from now on.
Lesson from 2A: Not to wear rings to class because they are convinced I am married and then they do nothing for the rest of class but talk about me love life.

2C- Nothing out of the ordinary with this class. They are exactly the same as when school started and since I only see them once a week they still don't trust me. I'm not even sure on all their names because I spend most of the time talking to the same ones, always the trouble makers and never have time to learn the other ones' names.
Lesson from 2C: Make them pair up with the opposite sex in P.E. and it really shuts them up. Oh to have cooties again!

1A B C- These three classes are grouped together because they've done the exact same stuff to me since I've been back:
"una cosa Melanie..." (one thing Melanie...) Is Steve your boyfriend? ...no
Do you have one?... no
Do you want one? ...no
Why not?, I have two.
...I tell you what kiddos, when I get one you'll all be the first to know!
Oh and little Celia in 1C is furious with me for not painting my nails like I did two weeks in a row. My life is under a microscope with these kids!
Lesson from the 1st grade: Never let them see me talking to a male teacher because I will never hear the end of it.

I think that about sums up my first few weeks back, crazy and eventful, and hysterical as always.

Negative: Being stuck in a small, hot, and stuffy classroom with 75 third graders to hear them do their musical performances for Peace day.

Positive: See above.